Grown Men don’t Cry?

The stereotype of course, men don’t cry, suck it up lad, don’t show your weaknesses to anyone. The trouble is that love expresses itself in tears, the trouble is this, there are tears of sadness, tears of joy and tears for many other emotional states and technically speaking, it shouldn’t be a ‘trouble’ or a ‘problem’.

This morning I had the pleasure of an unexpected tear whilst watching a sunrise. I share this story now.

The sun rose high and as it did it painted the clouds red, orange, yellow and purple, a breath taking spectacle,

The starlings rose one by one in there collective hundreds from the long abandoned west pier, they danced effortlessly through the ever changing palette of colours in the rising sun’s sky,

The water facing the sun began to shine and yet when looking in a Westerly direction at the sea and all her surrounding vistas they looked cold. An intriguing contrast the warmth and light had penetrated most of what was life in that moment and yet a portion was still left cold and icy, why?

The icy cold water caught my attention, it froze me in a moment of time not the same as this and yet not that different either, why the contrast I wondered?

My heart I realised was in a similar position, recently it to had been lit by a rising sun, allowing a warmth to move through it and be given away from it and yet there was and still is this part of my heart that is hidden even from me and that was the cold reflection of the icy blue sea.

I allowed myself to feel my heart and its contrast as I gazed upon the multicoloured East and the Icy blue west, not thinking about anything in particular, then as my gaze settled into a nothingness racing across the calm waters of the icy blue western sea a tear appeared,

Where did you come from tear, surely not me? Why yes, the tear replied, where else could I have come from if not you? It’s just that I have no reason to shed a tear I countered, and  I’m not sure i’m comfortable looking out into the vastness of the blue ocean whilst little blue oceans of my own stream down the canyons of my weathered storm called my life.

I am but a tear, I am neither good, nor bad, I am free from judgement and so are you, you saw beauty in nature and in that moment saw the beauty of your own nature, you understood that you need not battle with yourself anymore and as you let go of the dams you had built inside of you I came out simply as a reminder, a reminder that we are water after all, that life is lived in the ebb and flow.

How many dams have I built tear? Ask your heart, tear answered, she knows and she will work with you to open the channels of your stagnant rivers so that they may run freely to once again nourish the heart and soul of life.

Men do cry and this was not my first tear and nor will it be my last, but it was one I felt had come from the heart.

Love to you all




The BIG C!

im a thirty something male and I’m not the only one growing!

In thirty years cancer has grown steadily side by side with me and has claimed too many and continues to strike people of all ages and all back grounds.

I have children and if cancer continues to grow as fast as it is then the statistics will be even more damning and so something needs to change.

Fighting Cancer is clearly not working, there is that old phrase that says to do the same thing over again and expect a different result is insane and whilst preserverance pays dividends and I am by no means suggesting we give up I feel it’s time we are honest and accept the current method is far too hit and miss and not really getting anywhere.

What do we do?

Well I believe the simplest cure and prevention is LOVE, but before everyone cries be realistic. Let me explain!

I have explored the health and wellbeing of the human organism with vigour I could throw facts and stats around that prove everything works and nothing works, you see you can live a squeaky clean life eat super foods practice yoga and get a good nights sleep and still wake up in the morning to find you have cancer, you could smoke everyday of your life and live to see the twilight years, life is not meant to make sense.

Each time I thought I had found the next elixir I would find its flaw round the next corner, but what I did find is this.

Those who can soften to the experience of life, those who feel a deep connection with themselves, with each other and with nature, those who feel as though they live a life of purpose, those who laugh and play as if all they had was right now, those who turn of the negative drone of the mass media and immerse themselves in the essence of the experience of life, those who are emotionally healed and balanced either never suffer from cancer and or naturally release it from their bodies should it manifest.

The key is connection, gathering the information from inside yourself and trusting that information and having the faith, strength and love to keep going with what you know you need to do and be.

I still love Patch Adams’s speech when he said if you treat the disease you win you loose, you treat the person and I guarantee you win.

Fighting cancer is you fighting yourself and there can only be loss in that process, the new way would be to travel to the other pole and love yourself unconditionally with all your heart as if your life depends upon it, why? Because it does.

Big love to you all


The Yoga Health Coach