I have discovered it is on the days you least want to bow that if you bow you receive your greatest insights; it is almost like my ego mind is purposefully putting up its final defences to stop me from diving deeper into who I am – my true self! My true self I have discovered is hard to describe using words, but here goes; at one point your mind is distracted you can feel tension in your brows, head and shoulders every pain that can surface does, to avoid this discomfort you try changing something either a thought or a technique or something then without thinking you drop into the experience you are having every movement becomes precious, effortless and enjoyable, the trouble is that your ego mind quickly pulls you out of this meditative state (true self) and back into pain and discomfort, however, the more I practice the greater the portion of my practice is spent in meditation and the less reactive or longer time I spend in ego mind.
Due to having such an analytical mind it still baffles me how this practice heals, strengthens and frees your mind, body and soul. I never look forward to bowing because my mind always tries to talk me out of it, but I have experienced so many transformations that despite my resistance I take to the mat every day; sometimes the resistance to bow is less or more and interestingly the last week my resistance has been increasing, but the experience of energy, meditation and vitality has been increasing and so I keep going, I have less idea what I will or am discovering I can feel shifts and changes that again I cannot truly describe as for most of my life I have rejected these energies and feelings, but as I lower my defences they are surfacing and all I can do is surrender – for what and to become what? I have no idea all I do know is that its the journey that counts, its the taking part, its the creating your own path, its the finding your answers even if you can’t recall the questions.
Change is on the cards and as we all know it always was and is.
The sun is shinning and I was inspired to make a simple snack that gave me a summer feel.
8 – Sundried Tomatoes (use the oil from the jar of tomatoes)
10 – 12 – Fresh Basil leaves
2 – cloves of garlic
1 – cap of apple cider vinegar
A generous squeeze of lemon juice
A pinch of Himalayan rock salt
You will also need:
1 – Avocado
4 – slices of Walnut Loaf (a sourdough and wheat loaf with walnuts, yum)
Place all the Mezze ingredients onto a chopping board and chop till fine and nicely mixed together. Cut your slices of bread and place 2 on each plate, spread the avocado on top then add the Mezze. Serves 2 people sitting outside in the lovely sun shine.
To you all in great health
The Yoga Health Coach
Tonight there was no hiding, no running away, I did not get the job! I had a lot riding on that job – my family’s security, career growth, being able to pay the rent, buy food and to exist; well it didn’t show up and now I’m left not knowing – not knowing how I will make the rent, buy the food and provide for my family? I am down, but not out.
I know there is a purpose behind this stage in my life and I appreciate that life is a mystery, but that does not stop it from hurting right now and so I bowed with my fears and pain this evening and I found I was emotional close to a few tears and yet I was strong and focused on finding a solution, I believe I can do it and that is what this bowing practice has given me – the strength to overcome adversity.
I move forward not knowing which way to go, but I do believe that purpose lies waiting…
To you all in great health
Day 70 has come in many respects quite quickly! The last week of bowing has been interesting as I began the week in a relatively light mood and found my practices energising and straight forward; then as inevitably as everything does it changed! I received notice that I was successful in getting through to an interview for a job I had applied for and that was it excitement and fear rose quickly and presented themselves in my practices over the week.
Before job news my mind was beginning to relax into the practice, but with change my monkey mind became trigger happy looking at all the possibilities – positive and negative. For me I found that when the interview was further away my mood remained up beat and the body remained light through the practice, however come Thursday the day before interview day the nerves had surfaced and my body felt as though I had gained a couple of pounds, which gave me an insight that when I am positive I literally feel lighter and when I am negative I feel ‘weighed down’ it was interesting to observe these two polarities in a short space of time.
Interview day came and went and I feel as though it went well although I do not find out just yet if I have been successful and this has led me to my next observation of me! I am not a fan of waiting, I become a yo yo – up and down, up and down and I observed this in my practice this evening. I was angry and sad starting the practice then I got into my stride and laughed at being angry and I noticed with the anger came knee pain, but as I laughed and moved the pain left me, then I noticed I had slowed down so I picked up my pace; at this point I observed that my anger, irritation and frustration increased as I picked up my pace, but not because of the pace my body was going but because of the pace my mind and all I can say is I dropped my mind into my body kept the pace and was peaceful again, however then I noticed I had 100 or so bows to go and became irritated and the cycle played out again.
What I essentially observed was I have an erratic pace I live my life by where my mind is 10 paces ahead of me and then gets tired at the point my body catches my mind up, but then I push a bit more until both say enough and stop.
The experience of dropping the mind into the body and changing my energy from irritated and angry energy to peaceful and calm energy was great and I intend to focus on that practice.
To you all in great health.
It has been another trying week of bowing, but this time mainly due to healing taking place in my body. 2 days ago I had a wonderful experience where I felt light and free with no tension and then by the evening my head was pounding and for the last couple of days I have had what is alike to a head cold and at the same time can feel cool/cold energy moving out through my fingers and chest, I have also felt this same movement of energy on the back of my neck.
Today was the first time I felt completely present in my bowing, more focused on me and the experience I was having rather than other people, places and things. It has also been interesting to continue with the practice through the head cold; this is the second illness/healing experience I have had over the past 63 days and have found on both occasions the bowing speeds the rate of recovery, it maybe ironic that it is more than likely the bowing that released or catalysed the release of the ailments in the first place.
The other interesting observation is despite the head cold and knowing that my mind and being are not functioning 100% at the moment my body continues to grow in strength, which as I mention is strange because usually in the presence of a cold my body feels weak, tender and stiff, but not on this occasion.
Something is happening, shifting and changing, a new path being created maybe, I am over half way and am enjoying the journey despite the challenges and who knows where it’s leading.
To you all in great health