Well the past 5 sessions have been pretty gruelling and this always seems to happen when you think you have a rhythm going.
I have continued to bow for forgiveness and have learnt that much of my pain over the past five sessions has been in the form of forgiving judgements and expectations that I had made/placed on both myself and others. I found myself digging deep to keep going over these 5 days as the mentioned emotions made their way through me and out of me and I have found it is only possible to release these emotions when sincerely practicing forgiveness; to explain this you can grit your teeth and push yourself through the practice and at times especially at the beginning I have done this, but you do not heal the trapped emotion/negativity because both the mind and body are tense, but when you practice with forgiveness, surrender and acceptance you keep going and you feel the emotion/energy move through you and in some cases releasing out of you and this is achieved because forgiveness, surrender and acceptance encourage the mind, body and soul to relax, which creates an opportunity to heal and grow.
As I mentioned I had to dig deep to get through, but not force; my digging deep was inwards a journey towards complete forgiveness and peace and I have to dig deep because over my life I have placed many layers of protection over my soul, why? trying not to get hurt I guess or simply not understanding what I was experiencing as I was growing up and not validating my own experience of life, leaving me doubting my abilities and not trusting myself; now the interesting thing about all that is I have always been considered a confident outgoing person, but I have found the costume I wore was covering who I truly am and I only wore it because it was accepted and expected if I wanted to fit in; to clarify I am confident and very sociable, however before I was acting now as I bow and do my practice my confidence and true self is manifesting and becoming more authentic, I have become much more positive and grateful, looking for the silver lining in every situation and that in itself is enriching my experience of life.
I have learnt from bowing, yoga and ki gong that the practice on the mat and what you observe is reflective of your life as a whole, the practices mentioned have given me a great opportunity to observe and discover me and at times that’s amazing at other times when you get shown your habits that reflect how you have been sabotaging your own life are great, but hard to digest because habits are habits they don’t like to shift easily and each time I practice I heal myself in a way that words cannot do justice.
To you all in great health.
is why I continue bowing to look deeper into who I am and heal the habits that keep me from becoming/recognising my true self.